Loss & Healing

Well, it's been over a year since I lasted posted. I meant to post last year. But life got complicated. And well, the fact that I'm functioning proves I'm stronger than I give myself credit for. My last post I talked about a healing journey. I really didn't heal much this past year, if anything it got worse. But the healing I have ahead of me I need more than ever.

For starters, February 2013, I came down to visit my mother while things got sorted out for my s/o and I getting our own place finally. I'm still here visiting. It was not meant to be this long. S/o & I are fine. But a number of circumstances has made finding a place difficult. We've seen each other, but it's getting hard. We had money saved up. But then almost  6 months ago, tragedy happened. I lost my oldest sister. It's a constant struggle. We had to use our savings. Extra time with family has been good, however I'm definitely ready to go home. Things are looking up though. We're just waiting on a couple things...and so it should be soon.

As hard as this last year has been, I'm trying to focus on good things. If I hadn't been down here with my mother, I wouldn't have got to spend time with my sister this past summer. Something I am so grateful for now.  It's like I needed to be here.

One thing for sure, I really need to heal. I feel stuck. I've been through loss before, but this was so sudden and unexpected. It can really make you think. I know I need to live a better life. My sister had some struggles, but she will never have a chance to get better. I know I need to do better for her. For me. For my family.  I'm rather limited on what I can really do right now. So I'm focusing on my health. All my stress, depression, and anxiety are weighing down on me. I've started exercising and I'm trying to eat better. I figure it's a start.


Brightest blessings to all

Thistle